These days there ain’t any other movie star the stamp of Tom Cruise. You can tell how popular he is as people always queue up to try to knock him. His height. His enthusiasm. His weird religion. His relationships. His death wish approach to stunts. His positivity. His 100% effort 100% of the time attitude. His grin. I was a naysayer too. I think it was Mission: Impossible followed by Jerry Maguire that matured me the fuck up. Made me realise there was more to him than a vanilla pretty boy. I’ve been loyal ever since. I talk about his carefully cultivated star persona and unmatched stature in Hollywood in my big Mission: Impossible round-up from a few years back. Let’s not go over over old ground. “I feel the need. The need for speed.”

The Last Samurai (2003)

Edward Zwick directs Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe and Hiroyuki Sanada in this period film about a samurai rebellion and the American Civil War veteran who finds himself switching sides over the battles.

Yes… it owes a massive debt to Dances With Wolves and by that very yoke it means it is an outdated white saviour narrative. But here’s the rub, us white people kinda like to see ourselves as the heroes, however historically inaccurate. The orientalism of the epic locations and spectacular period production design is eye popping. The war sequences rousing. Tom gets to roll around on the floor screaming for SAKE! And there is a sweetly muted romance. Ken Watanabe is superb in his star making turn as the samurai leader who warms to his captured enemy over a winter. Just a glorious piece of Dad Cinema entertainment.

9

Days of Thunder (1990)

Tony Scott directs Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman and Robert Duvall in this sports movie following the year in the life of a rookie stock car racer.

This attempt to transpose the Top Gun formula to the world of burnt rubber and big crashes is half successful. The cast is amazing and the look of thing frazzles the retinas. Scott loves any colour that blinds. Cruise’s neon racer, Kidman’s red hair, the petrol sun. Narrative feels quite disjointed. As a mindless forgotten blockbuster, Days Of Thunder does its job adequately. But most of us are revisiting this to witness Cruise and Kidman fall in love… yet the romance does get short shrift.

6

Magnolia (1999)

Paul Thomas Anderson directs Tom Cruise, John C. Reilly and Jason Robards in this ensemble multistrand indie following the intersecting lives of various Los Angelinos.

A treatise on fate. An evisceration of toxic masculinity (years before it was a buzz term). An awkward romance. Desperate child geniuses. Dying, corrupt patriarchs. Musical interludes. Fame. And a cute ending that acts as a full stop but really just pulls up and away from all these damaged lives. There are times when Magnolia actually bores me to tears… how long are we going to spend wallowing in that poor child’s shame, for example? But the Cruise sequences are a powerhouse and he relishes playing someone so off trend. If he were ever to win an Oscar it should have been for Frank T.J. Mackey. When he is blindsided in an interview and all the armour bullshit fades away… “I’m quietly judging you.”… Devastating.

7

Valkyrie (2008)

Bryan Singer directs Tom Cruise, Bill Nighy and Tom Wilkinson in this WWII thriller based on the true story of the internal German military plot to kill Hitler and end the war with dignity.

On paper should be one of the greatest thrillers ever… but it actually is quite talky and circular. Singer does seem to relish amplifying the Nazi paraphernalia a little too enthusiastically. Cruise is demure as the good German. The opening sequence of a failed desert campaign is the only moment that really raises the pulse. A big budget, sometimes distasteful fudge. Watch Downfall or 13 Minutes instead.

6

The Color of Money (1986)

Martin Scorsese directs Paul Newman, Tom Cruise and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio in this legacy sequel to The Hustler where Fast Eddie Felson decides to show a young pool player the ropes and back him all the way to Atlantic City.

The absolute tits. I just adore this. Newman’s tight porn producer’s fashions, his rejuvenation and his unfussy domination of any shot and line. He gently laps away at Richard Price’s hardboiled dialogue. Sell out Scorsese doing one for them and producing his most artful and controlled movie. Natalie says it feels more like a Spike Lee joint and that is on the money. This is Scorsese’s most maximalist film and half of it is anchored to pool balls knocking about the table, a third to the interior of a car. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio – hot as fuck. Arguably provided with Scorsese’s most complex female character since Burstyn’s Alice. And then there be young gauche Tom. His first meta role. His pretty boy ambitions reenergising Newman’s vampire, Newman’s Felson unable to impart any of the heartfelt lessons he has picked up on his own road to the overconfident buck. Everyone stuck in position of mistrust or exploitation. Every gesture or overture bathed in the waters of psychological manipulation. Robbie Robertson’s insidious laid back blues inspired score. Ballhaus and Thelma cementing the sheer visual pizzaz of one of the greatest sequels ever made. “I’m back!”

10

I write regular features about live comedy for British Comedy Guide here https://www.comedy.co.uk/people/bobby_carroll/features/