Martin Brest directs Al Pacino, Chris O’Donnell and Gabrielle Anwar in this drama where a prep school student looks after an suicidal blind man who whisks him off to New York for one last weekend of pleasures.

“Women! What can you say? Who made ’em? God must have been a fuckin’ genius. The hair… They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls… just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips… and when they touched, yours were like… that first swallow of wine… after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don’t care if they’re Greek columns… or secondhand Steinways. What’s between ’em… passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Sims, there’s only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin’ to me, son? I’m givin’ ya pearls here.”

Birth of the Hoo-Ha! Actually everything Pacino does is perfect. OTT but utterly entertaining. Ham and cheese, Oscar gold. The movie is about an hour longer than it needs to be – loose with silly stuff and scenes that revisit old ground. Brest isn’t entirely sure what tone to go for from one scene to the next. Do we really care about the prep school ethics trial that bookends all the meat? Yet let blind Al tango, let him call a toddler ‘a piece of tail’ or let drive a Ferrari and I’m all in. A guilty pleasure.

7

Perfect Double Bill: The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

My wife and I do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/