Dwight H. Little directs Steven Seagal, Keith David and Basil Wallace in this action thriller in which a DEA agent returns home only to find his old town is overrun with drug dealing yardies.

Has the same roulette wheel random plotting of any Seagal movie. The ball lands on a South of the Border foot chase, HELLO DANNY TREJO, then a whore gets shot between the exposed titties, then we are retiring, then we are back home, then we are… NO! Let the erratic journey sweep you along. It feels better than most bog standard Seagal product without jumping any of the expected rails. The violence is notably gorier. Hands are lopped off, heads carried about. It gives Predator 2 a run for it money as a major studio general release that goes full Grand Guignol. They’re both from 1990, they both feature Jamaican voodoo crime gangs. This one is far more racist. Almost knowingly so. Every act a character takes 10 seconds to pause, turn to camera and begrudgingly tell us not all West Indian immigrants are like THIS. But as movie villains go Basil Wallace utterly delivers as Screwface. Unpredictable, unwavering and imposing… he’s an unsung high point in late 20th century action cinema. Body parts and bad guy aside this otherwise is rote Seagal guff… but if Under Siege is unavailable… then Marked For Death has to be your next best choice.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Miloš Forman directs Jan Vostrčil, Josef Šebánek and Josef Valnoha in the Czechoslovakian satire where the annual piss-up goes awry when the committee members get distracted from the tombola and award ceremony by a beauty contest and a fire.

Recalling Dad’s Army as much as any satire. A silly damnation of leaving the old guard (and the patriarchy) alone to organise anything. It can feel a little one note and drawn out at times yet always finds a apocalyptic crescendo eventually. You can see why Forman was tapped on the shoulder by Hollywood to direct One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest after this. The marshalling of an unglamorous flock of faces and the mundanity of madness… well, he has commendable form.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck directs Martina Gedeck, Ulrich Muhe and Sebastian Koch in this German period political drama about a Stasi surveillance expert who begins to obsess over the actress and dramatist whose lives he is assigned to investigate.

The observer effect… seeing is changing. Even if here the changes most readily occur in the investigator himself. Being one floorboard above all this art, love and humanity opens him to the possibility that the state he works unwaveringly for might not have an individual‘s happiness at heart. von Donnersmarck’s perfectly crafted drama has so many moments of cinematic poetry and images repeated from different angles that it can feel overwhelmingly smarter than you or I. In a good way. My favourite I noticed for the first time this showing is how the playwright and actress’ home becomes a drama we are watching like theatre and how HGW XX/7 essentially become both audience and director for their little play… even arranging cues from his little backstage booth. This is a work of a consummate cinematic artist who has interrogated every image, line, interaction, casting and edit before committing it the screen. And despite being laboured in its construction, it never feels pretentious or overly showy. Like our grey little spy we get swept in the lives of others hoping for a reprieve or a glimmer of grace. Yet the “mighty wheel” of the GDR turns mercilessly, no matter what little swells of personal freedom spring up in each lead. The true irony of setting this in 1984 is not the cute Orwell parallel but that we the viewer know that the communist state is due for an imminent collapse. These characters only need to hold out five more years and their acts of rebellion and their tortuous consequences will no longer feel like life sentences. I instantly loved this on release and am kicking myself it took my 15 further years to revisit such an indisputable modern classic. Whenever we make it to Berlin we go to the Stasi museum which is used here as non-fictional location. Both that institution and this movie offer a fascinating insight into a regime that existed in our lifetime. Though obviously Koch and Gedeck mean the movie is a far sexier and meatier experience than walking around looking at exhibits.

10

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Harley Cokliss directs Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Hamilton and Robert Vaughn in this action thriller where a master thief must recover a stolen prototype car from a gang of high-end chop shoppers who operate out of twin skyscrapers.

Why does the experimental super car look so rickety and basic? Why does beautiful Linda Hamilton always look constipated during her sex scenes? Why does this feel so so much like a slightly harder edged episode of Streethawk, Airwolf, Knightrider, The A-Team etcetera etcetera…? The cat burglar caper stuff works best. The baddies operate out of two office towers just so the electric razor on wheels can smash through one glass window and then glide over mid air to the other. Based on a script by THE John Carpenter.

5

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Olivier Assayas directs Connie Nielsen, Charles Berling and Chloë Sevigny in this erotic thriller where a corporate double agent finds herself manipulated by everyone during the company takeover of an animated Japanese adult entertainment firm.

Even though it begins rather staid and muted this is not a film to watch on public transport. An uncanny mix of Videodrome and The Office the thriller aspects are undercranked but decent. Connie Neilsen’s business suited spy is slowly and emotionlessly exposed to extreme deviant pornography while being dominated by ever changing antagonists. Pretty much everyone pulls her strings at some point (controlling her like a cam girl in many ways), and because half the film she is casually watching hardcore imagery then by association so are we. Assayas is trying to make another one of his cold, detached essays on how modern life is rubbish. Everything we see from our POV clearly is not the full story, though you’ll probably guess how it is going to end very early on. It passes an evening neatly but doesn’t stick. It does however have a shot of Chloë Sevigny playing PlayStation in the nude so it certainly isn’t unworthy of a watch.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Navot Papushado directs Karen Gillan, Lena Headey and Paul Giamatti in this action movie where an assassin follows in her mother footsteps and goes rogue against “the firm” she works for.

Positives First… The ladies look spectacular – especially the librarian trio of Michelle Yeoh, Carla Gugino and Angela Bassett. The baddies are well cast. The production design of the whole thing has a quirky sensibility. Here clearly is a movie made by people who love exactly the same movies as you and I and aren’t ashamed of it. The eclectic soundtrack digs up a fair few forgotten favourites. All’s gravy then? Not exactly, sadly. The Kill Bill / John Wick-esque world building feels uninspired. The action is filmed and edited quite flatly. The whole thing feels pretty lifeless. Like a tracing exercise rather than a work of art in its own right. You desperately want to ignore the negatives, hail a new cult action classic but it actually gets boring by the midway mark. This is a project with so much going in its favour that you shouldn’t be looking at your watch quite so early on.

4

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker direct Danny DeVito, Bette Midler and Judge Reinhold in this crime comedy where a sleazy millionaire’s shrewish wife is kidnapped and he hopes the criminals will save him the job of killing her.

Reagan’s America at its day-glo spandex bleakest. DeVito’s comedy chops smash through the convoluted plot and the scenes without him are noticeably weaker. Scabrous, a pitch perfect nasty piece of work, I laughed loads at this. The ending lands like Eighties Comedy Movie bingo – a cavalcade of police cars, cars careening off piers, a cuddle on a beach. The executive mandated soundtrack, featuring overly pacy cuts from Jagger and Joel… rediscover a priceless relic. I’m probably exactly the right age to enjoy this a little more than it deserves. There’s still a part of my brain that grew up thinking all cinema should feel, look, sound, play like Ruthless People.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Douglas Sirk directs Jane Wyman, Rock Hudson and Barbara Rush in this melodrama where a playboy feels responsible for all the tragedies in a widow’s life.

A brutal weepie in that it piles on a new suffering every 15 minutes. How can something so clean looking and so colour coordinated put you through the emotional grinder so ruthlessly? The pseudo Christian messaging is a tad heavy handed, but never feels out of place with the central romance. Hudson is actually a very compelling lead, beyond his matinee idol looks there’s something magnetising about him. Perfect Sunday afternoon fodder. The kinda “fil-em” my nanny would have loved.

8

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Kasi Lemmons directs Samuel L. Jackson, Jurnee Smollett and Debbi Morgan in this gothic melodrama where a young girl begins to suspect her father isn’t perfect.

A nice classy piece of drama effectively told from a child’s point of view. It is a fine cocktail of innocence, superstition and sex. Jackson puts in an attention grabbing turn as the hound dog good doctor. Jurnee Smollett exceeds expectations as the child performer in the protagonist’s role. Strong visuals.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Martin Scorsese directs Robert DeNiro, Nick Nolte and Juliette Lewis in this thriller – the classic 1962 noir where Robert Mitchum stalks Gregory Peck’s family is remade.

Marty’s “one for them”. It starts off pretty stimulating with Scorsese employing lots of aged masters behind the scenes (Freddie Francis, Elmer Bernstein, Elaine & Saul Bass…) to reimagine the simple but effective pot boiler into an in-your-face art movie. That only engages Marty’s talent and vision for so long though. The second hour descends into lengthy improvisations from the actors. This technique does gift us one great scene… DeNiro’s epic seduction of Juliette Lewis in the school basement. Here the indulgence pays off but it is at the expense of a set piece nobody was interested in shooting on the day. And without traditional thrills you are left in the company of some very unpleasant people (scumbag lawyer, depressed shrew, jailbait, pitiful rapist) with no one to root for. It is overwrought and stagnant by the end, often a little too laughable. For a long slog your only pleasure is ticking off Hitchcock homages that are being crowbarred in for giggles. Illeana Douglas really pops in a small but difficult role.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and