Fatal Attraction (1987)

Adrian Lyne directs Glenn Close, Michael Douglas and Anne Archer in this erotic thriller where a married man’s affair follows him home with deadly consequences.

The daddy of all yuppie in peril thrillers. The one night stand from hell. It is curious how De Palma was first offered so many of the projects that Lyne made his name with. Flashdance was a better fit for the Brit. But this would be a wonderful What If? Imagine the drawn out, Hitchcockian flow Brian might have brought to this concept. Lyne instead prefers surface. A layer of sheen punctured, broken or stained by a moment of invasive violence. The Homes & Garden domesticity stunk out by a boiling rabbit. A loft apartment, as white as a nun’s vestments, strewn with the blood of cut wrists. A serene moment of silence punctuated by a ringing phone, a call we all know in our gut is from a number that is breaking an unspoken contract of privacy. A Letter To Penthouse sexual fantasy blowjob in a lift interrupted by the comical but prophetically deathly steps of an old man walking past. Lyne likes to wreck the tasteful construct he has created, slash the aesthetic canvas. An interruptor of sensual perfection. Much later on the director does try his hand at set pieces… but this is first and foremost a mood piece. A mania piece.

Glenn Close’s Alex is often commented on as a metaphor for HIV. She infects the happy family. Her escalating outbursts and obsession are seen as a non-negotiable, incurable threat. The sequence where we listen to a cassette of her expletive filled internal monologue, knowing that she is only one car behind the unwitting Douglas is a stand out. As he realises the full extent of just what he has exposed his family to, he still is blinkered to the fact that moving states isn’t going to protect them from his betrayal. That’s the problem with his cock-led treachery… he isn’t equipped to deal with the fallout of extreme emotion. Witness how comfortable and measured he is (eventually) confessing to his reasonable and loving wife. Alex, is a different woman, she is immune to his charms and rationality. He can’t ignore her or fight her or quash her legally. Any method he tries to counteract Alex with blows up in his face. He’s a lamb, unschooled and fumbling in a new world where someone is unwilling to play by the very rules he decided to break.

Does Douglas deserve all the unhinged nastiness that is unfurled at him? Modern eyes suggest that he treated a troubled woman as disposable, was clumsy with her emotions. Yet Close’s Alex, undiagnosed mental illness aside, is always meant to be a demonic succubus of wrath and demented stalking. Look at her harsh look and flinty vibe when we first spy her across a bar. She instantly stands out as an intoxicatingly forbidden persona among all the polite couples and geniality. She knew she was pursuing a married man, was predatory in her offer. Is his minor sin of not realising her offer of sex had lacerating strings attached really deserving of the insidious destruction she unleashes and plots against him and his? The calculated threat almost feels like castigation from Chaucer or Dante… a worst case scenario penance for him sinning. Any married woman or used woman watching gleefully wants to see Douglas’ Dan dangle defenceless on the hook for the extended middle act.

Let’s not lie and pretend that if Dan was a more emphatic or sensitive man the movie wouldn’t want to dismantle him. Sex is the loaded gun, the knife with fingerprints all over it. Away from the loving marriage of Don’t Look Now and the horny rush of slightly maturer teen movies, sex is always an instigator for peril. Perhaps the overriding moral of Fatal Attraction and erotic thrillers in general is none of us should rush to bed with anyone we don’t know. The married man is rarely looking to trade up. The forbidden other woman rarely just wants a fleeting physical gratification. Both are left scarred by the sexual encounter. Hollywood was only just getting used to sex as an explicit plot device after four decades of coy separate beds even for the married. Hell, in this uniformly PG-13 era, they seem to have fully reversed the bang bus and given up on the idea of including fuck scenes in the plot since the millennium anyway. Only at the end of the 20th century was there the suggestion that all adults are fragile, capable of violence and moments of deep obsession. For 30 years between Play Misty For Me and Eyes Wide Shut, Hollywood considered which dark paths desire and lust might take us. Verhoeven, Lynch and Lyne were the masters of giving us attractions then making them fatal.

If only the movie suggested that Douglas’ character maybe should have cheated with someone he knew rather than the most attractive option that presented itself when he had a free weekend. The methodical corporate lawyer should have done his due diligence if he was going to risk his happy existence. He shifts from being draped in the matching whites of his angelic wife and daughter to becoming a black mark in his own home. For the second half he is dressed almost like a void or a question mark. He has not just cheated on his wife but become a hollow shadow of who he, and they thought, he was before the introduction. Would he feel just as guilty and no longer himself if Close did not continue to pursue him and wreck his life? It was the Eighties, so I doubt it. He has to be robbed and blinded to see the road to Damascus.

The reason Fatal Attraction was such a landmark, and has mutated in its potency is Close is actually too good an actress for the role. She brings a complexity and sadness to her villain that is not there on paper. Probably shouldn’t be there for the entertainment to work smoothly. We should not care about the monster. Alex manifests her frailty in a mode of criminal vengeance. Yet there’s never any concession that her breakdown is valid or could be resolved through love or therapy. Fucking her let’s the curse loose, the djinn out of the bottle. The reshot bombastic ending abandons all Hitchcockian psychology and goes for a satisfying horror movie scourging. Evil is banished, the family unit reunited in a cleansing act of brutality. The equally deserving transgressor ends up ultimately unpunished as balance is restored and the narrative is reset. Dan rejoins his wife and child with little further cost than the bathroom needs a hasty redecorate. The irony is maybe the angelic Anne Archer would have never forgiven his infidelity if it didn’t manifest itself in such a vicious, intrusive way. If she merely discovered her husband was a rat and threw his suits out into the driveway, they would never have had a demon to rally against and reunite their team.

Cathartic violence. The witch needs to be dunked and executed at the stake for Hollywood to pervade the conservative lesson that monogamy is the way, masculinity the right. Both lead women are mentally enfeebled by all this sex and mistrust. You need a man around the house even if he is part hound dog. It is a ropey, rusty conclusion that you can never unpack fully. Fatal Attraction works best as a warning to the faithful man to keep true to his path. Your wife is always safer than the mad bitch offering it up. And a warning to the married woman to keep her man happy, as otherwise god only know what dogs shit he might blithely drag into the hallway carpet after his walk on the wild side. There’s no lesson for the lone woman who falls hard for the fucker someone else has already snagged. Or it is merely an efficiently 1980s rattler that only wants to put it winningly mature stars and us through the ringer and make the box office chime. Which it did deservedly. Witch, bitch, dog shit. This review and the film does feminism few favours. The only institution glorified by a deeper reading of Fatal Attraction is husband and wife must work together to keep dangerous temptation at bay.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Carlito’s Way (1993)

Brian De Palma directs Al Pacino, Sean Penn and Penelope Ann Miller in this period gangster drama where a Puerto Rican criminal tries to go straight in 1970s New York, his corrupt lawyer and legendary reputation have other ideas.

More disciplined than Scarface, yet frustratingly looser than The Untouchables. This is the Brian De Palma movie with some of his most stunning set pieces married to a listless and repetitive plot. Take a drink every time Al Pacino’s hardboiled narration doesn’t really match up with what is idling about on screen. Do a line every time somebody says “Benny Blanco from the Bronx.” Sean Penn’s performance is full fat, 100% committed to the sleaze of his character. Penelope Ann Miller sheds her good girl image as an exotic dancer. The pool hall trap and the Grand Central Station chase would have been the highlights of De Palma’s career. Nail bitingly orchestrated, patiently strung out, marvels of tension. Editor Bill Pankow’s finest cutting. Only for some misjudged reason we have already witnessed a flashforward to Carlito’s fate at the very start. Spoiler! “The street ees watchiiiing!”

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Stepford Wives (2004)

Frank Oz directs Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick and Bette Midler in this sci-fi comedy where the outspoken spouses of a town of rich men are being converted into subservient sex slave automatons.

The original film was a horror free horror so it makes absolute sense that this parody update would contain so few jokes – none if you are only counting workable ones. Toothless, painful to watch and butchered with a clearly bolted-on, late-in-the-day reshot happy ending, this has very little but some mega budget production values to recommend it. Allegedly the set was rife with disagreements and prima donna behaviour. Maybe everyone cottoned on early doors as to just what ‘a pup’ they had signed away their souls for. Frank Oz is usually reliable in delivering upper middle class farces, here he can only achieve shrill boredom.

2

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Some Like It Hot (1959)

Billy Wilder directs Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in this cross dressing comedy where two male musicians avoid the mob by joining an all-girl revue.

I’m going to get thrown into movie jail for only liking and respecting this one, aren’t I? It is one of Natalie’s favourites, so I’m damned unless I give it 10 out of 10, anyway. So let’s just go for it! It lacks the acidic bite of The Apartment and Technicolor decadence of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Just so you know what paradigm I’m working from when I concede it is a great watch that I just can’t get myself to love as much as I should. Monroe is fantastic, she looks a million bucks and breathlessly delivers as a vulnerable yet sweet showstopper. Jack Lemmon can do this kinda farce in his sleep. I’ve less time for Tony Curtis – a pugnacious and unappealing presence. He makes like he’s Dean Martin but I don’t see the attraction. Maybe that’s the joke? And there are points where the mechanics of the plot grind slower and clunkier than is really forgivable for a dipped in gold, five star indisputable comedy classic. It is still often a witty rush of iconic moments, sexy moments and funny moments. I’m just not sure the leading man is worth our or Sugar Kane’s time yet the narrative leans towards him over the other two with frustrating regularity.

8 (A fine score, not “the fuzzy end of the lollipop”)

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Feast of the Seven Fishes (2018)

Robert Tinnell directs Skyler Gisondo, Madison Iseman and Joe Pantoliano in this Italian American festive film where a small town teen drinks, romances and reminiscences while his bickering family prepares their traditional epic Christmas Eve feast.

An indie charmer that gives you exactly the warm feelings you want around this time of year. Loads of HBO faces give this a salty flavour, while the kids (Gisondo especially) underplay the slightly maudlin tropes sweetly. Set in 1983, this is more All The Right Moves than John Hughes. Not to overpraise a decent little release, but here’s one I can see slowly becoming part of the December annual watch canon. It just feels a bit more heartfelt and memorable than most of airbrushed red and green cash-in releases of the last decade.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Surviving Christmas (2004)

Mike Mitchell directs Ben Affleck, James Gandolfini and Christina Applegate in this Christmas comedy where a millionaire moves back into his childhood home much to the inconvenience of the dysfunctional family who have to endure his whims.

A reduced joke comedy that switches gear into a passionless romcom at the midway point. It would be fair to say everyone involved is better than the material they are given but James Gandolfini’s talent in particular chafes against the sad unambitious mundanity of it all.

3

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

The Firm (1993)

Sydney Pollack directs Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Gene Hackman in this legal thriller where a young graduate is recruited by a Memphis law office with an overly generous job offer covering up for a fatal conspiracy.

A classy Saturday night special that just about gets away with a wobbly construction due to an unwavering air of peril and some lavishly deployed Clinton-era wealth porn. A near endless procession of quirky cameos and enigmatic characters means subplots fade away unresolved and contrivances solve dilemmas in ways a sillier film might not survive. I seriously doubt the mob would go for Mitch’s pitch in the tense finale. It ain’t a good deal for them. Look out for the convenient cotton truck that keeps illegally parking in that alleyway by the offices. Gene Hackman’s wonderful Avery Tolar is an oblique human. It is quite seductive never to fully get a grip on such a prominent figure’s motivations or heart… and Hackman relishes adding random lines of definition to such an unpredictable persona. Cruise is in his element bouncing off a litany of grizzled acting greats, and Hackers is the three-pointer. The Firm would be the last time Tom rested on his boyish charm. After this he’d start dismantling the initial star persona with Interview With the Vampire, Jerry Maguire and Magnolia. We didn’t know it then but this was his last hurrah of callow youth and yuppie athleticism. Watching him run in suits is ever so satisfying. It feels like a tradition. The Firm weaves a closing net that gives him plenty of chances to dash and dodge without ever mutating into Arnie or Bruce. It is overlong. Indulgent. But indulges us with adult pulp, a workplace fantasy, a married adventure that allows for infidelity, abandoning of financial responsibility and mundanity. Dave Grusin’s jazzy solo piano score ferries us through the weaker joins.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Rocks (2020)

Sarah Gavron directs Bukky Bakray, D’angelou Osei Kissiedu and Kosar Ali in this British teen drama about a young black girl struggling to keep her and her little brother away from care when her mother abandons them.

Surprisingly accurate in how London kids interact and convincingly performed.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Meek’s Cutoff (2010)

Kelly Reichardt directs Michelle Williams, Bruce Greenwood and Rod Rondeaux in this indie western where a group of settlers are led astray by their guide.

A ponderous, slow drama where you have to bring your own values and interests to the muted party. Reichardt gives equal focus to the women facing oblivion – observing them being sidelined from life and death decisions, their continual grind of keeping the basic provisions present while the men dither forward. The acting is theatrical, the tone procedural. In all honesty, it is a difficult film to enjoy, with few traditional pleasures or satisfying resolutions, but admirable in what it quietly achieves.

6

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/

Classic Musicals Round-Up

Viva Las Vegas (1964)

George Sidney directs Elvis Presley, Ann-Margret and Cesare Danove in this rock ‘n’ roll vehicle where a racing car driver falls for a pool manager.

Pretty inane, poppy and casually sexist. The best moments are when the whole things abandons the ramshackle plot and becomes an indulgent advert for the Nevada tourist board. Ann-Margaret looks fantastic, whether freaking out with her trademark manic shimmy or being objectified, but she clearly gets short shrift by the editing team… the best takes used are the ones where the stiff Elvis doesn’t shit the bed with his acting… often making her line readings seem ill prepared.

3

High Society (1956)

Charles Walters directs Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly and Frank Sinatra in this musical retread of The Philadelphia Story with a lesser cast.

Pluses: Who Wants To Be a Millionaire dazzles and Louis Armstrong has a nice role as the Newport Jazz Festival equivalent of a Greek chorus. That aside this is all an update with very little improvement. You’d much rather watch Hepburn, Grant and Stewart. Too glossy to dismiss, too creaky to be fully seduced by. Celeste Holm does sweet work as Old Blue Eyes’ romantic consolation prize.

6

Meet Me In St Louis (1941)

Vincente Minnelli directs Judy Garland, Margaret O’Brien and Mary Astor in this nostalgic musical looking at the Smith family’s ups-and-downs in the build up to world changing St Louis World Fair.

I’ve seen this before on the big screen but it actually works best cuddled up to the one you love with the radiators on full blast and hot drinks steaming in front of you. Judy Garland, aside from her luminous beauty and incomparable singing talent, represents modernity to me in all her films. The ones I’ve seen anyway. Sometimes, whether by tornado or trolley, the world moves a little too fast for her and we share her breathless wonder and excitement. Other times, usually because of stuffy men or awkward boys, society needs to catch up with her race of emotions and yearning. And in this optimistic flash backwards we get the best evidence of her unique place in Hollywood stardom. Meet Me in St Louis is both colourful lament to a passing of an era, and comforting embrace of a future then realised. The Trolley Song and Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas are standards for good reason. There are sinister moments and enigmatic moments that don’t really belong in a barefaced family entertainment like this. Whether our anachronistic sensibilities over attune to them is for a viewer smarter than me to decide. All I know is that child star Margaret O’Brien’s portrayal of Tootie Smith is one of the most sociopathic performances outside of thrillers and horrors. The poppet is a candy voiced menace.

8

Kiss Me Kate (1955)

George Sidney directs Kathryn Grayson, Howard Keel and Ann Miller in this backstage musical about a troubled production of The Taming of the Shrew where the leads are a warring divorced pair of prima donnas.

One note and one joke, this often grates rather than dazzles. The dancing is wondrous when given room to breathe. Ann Miller sparkles as the brassy and talented support, her hoofing is pretty spectacular. Otherwise the humour and sexual politics of this have very much had their day.

5

Top Hat (1935)

Mark Sandrich directs Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers and Erik Rhodes in this Golden Age musical where a tap dancer’s late night exuberance entangles him with the fashion model who complains about the noise he is making upstairs, complications ensue.

Fred Astaire is a winning screen presence. Kinda like Stan Laurel took a magic potion that made him suave, confident and nimble footed. The innocence and quirky reactions are still there. His and Ginger Rogers chemistry is electric. The script here is witty frippery, standard farce stuff with taut running jokes. Contains Irving Berlin’s classic songs Cheek to Cheek and the title number. All the dance sequences are sublime with antique charm.

7

Check out my wife Natalie’s Point Horror blog https://cornsyrup.co.uk

We also do a podcast together called The Worst Movies We Own. It is available on Spotify or here https://letterboxd.com/bobbycarroll/list/the-worst-movies-we-own-podcast-ranking-and/