Kenneth Branagh directs Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman and Tom Hiddleston in this Marvel flick about an Asgardian warrior god prince banished to Buttfuck, USA for his half brother’s plotting. 

Some glowing design work in Asgard and Hemsworth’s nice line in hunky doofus heroics aside there’s very little to actually revisit on a second viewing. Essentially a muted, tasteful version of Dolph Lungren’s Masters of the Universe with franchise building when there should be action (Take the shot, Hawkeye!) and no real pace or commitment from the paycheck players. The Marvel machine at its weakest.

4