Jan De Bont directs Sandra Bullock, Willem Dafoe and Jason Patric in this disaster movie set aboard a luxury cruise liner set on a collision course. 

A confession. I enjoyed this in the summer of 1997. Not enough to seek it out again. I mean… I knew it was not… in any way… Speed. So watching it again at least 19 further viewings of Keanu’s Fun Bus down the line I’m shocked with my 17 year old self, shocked with everyone involved, really. Yes – there are conceptual problems embedded into every cell like a terminal cancer this was never going to overcome. Charisma vacuum Patric is no replacement for Reeves and it’s hard to say whether having him play exactly the same character with a new name (as they actually try and fail to do), rather just ignoring the recasting and keeping him as a slightly funny looking Jack Traven, or maybe giving the script another rewrite where his character is fased out and replaced by someone a bit different or rewarding the bulk of his set piece heavy lifting to actual star Sandra Bullock would have been the better course of action. The fudge they settle on, just sinks. Then we have the oft pointed out but unignorable problem with a film called Speed 2 set on a slow moving cruise ship. To be honest some of the sequences the concept throws up could easily be made more exciting if Bullock (still charmingly fresh here when she gets more to do than be a hostage) was more obviously in the mix and a bit more directorial care taken to craft them – the propeller sequence has noticeable missed potential. The highlight in this cobbled together mess is a 15 minute sequence where ship crashes into an island town but even that is ruined by a wacky slapstick sensibility and the fact that Bullock and Dafoe seemingly are just put on pause on their jet skis while it all plays out… One reel later and they reappear in exactly the same place to carry on their escape. Surely Dafoe makes for a good villain? Well he’s never boring but inconsistent as a watery custard; smiling for holiday snaps one minute, scowling at a TV screen the next, giving all his hostages a humane chance to escape early doors, yet enfuriated to murder when some of them are trapped on his death ship. Dire, possibly the worst original to sequel quality downturn in a franchise ever.

2