Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

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Luc Beeson directs Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne and Clive Owen in this space adventure about two future cops trying to protect a little, multicolour gem producing beastie who links to an intergalactic genocide.

Oh, I wanted this to be better. I wanted it to be great. The opening montage presenting the century spanning creation of an alien multiculture to David Bowie is mind blowing. The introduction of pearl and coral based planet is an eye popping work of art. A sting operation in a multidimensional shopping mall is quite frankly warped brilliance. But then we have 90 minutes left and all that visual invention and  unique oomph gets lost in boring and weirdly slapdash episodic ‘adventures’. Culminating in a cheap Eighties TV shoot out.  By then you have given up. You are left cold and shivering by the dullness and disappointment . The surreal sight of Rihanna as a shapeshifting stripper and blank star Delevingne in the universe’s biggest hat can’t get you back on board. A waste.

4

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